The other day as I was pulling out of the driveway I saw a black man walking down the street. Immediately I hated him. I then thought, "I must be racist." After a few seconds of thinking about it, I realized I'm not racist; I just hate everyone. With that said, I thought I would list the top two kinds of people who are deserving of my hatred:
1. Hillbillies. Although they exist all around the U.S., hillbillies usually make up the majority of the midwest and south. Hillbillies take pride in being uneducated and worthless. Their families are very closely bonded; usually too closely. They are extremely narrow-minded and go on a rampage at the mere mentioning of anyone of a different ethnic or racial background, homosexuals, non-Christians, and hygeine. Broken down vehicles are a hot item among hillbillies. They usually place them on display on their front lawn atop cinder blocks. With their incessant 'twanging', sometimes a hillbilly's accent can be mistaken for banjo music. Although hillbillies get their name from their placement in the mountains, or 'hills', they can be found in other areas as well, including small towns, farms, and ghettos. Mountain, small town, and farm hillbillies are very similar to one another, but ghetto hillbillies differ enough to fall into their own category: ghettobillies; which brings me to number two.
2. Ghettobillies. Ghettobillies are very similar to hillbillies. Apart from geographical location, they can be distinguished from an ordinary hillbilly by such things as vehicles and lawn ornaments. Instead of collecting broken vehicles, ghettobillies buy used, running vehicles and add an assortment of different car parts to 'enhance' the quality of these vehicles and drive them around the neighborhood very late at night. The most common replacement parts for these vehicles are chrome rims, sound systems and darkly tinted windows. Unlike the hillbillies' choice of lawn ornament, ghettobillies usually decorate their lawns with such things as couches, broken bicycles, tables, and toys. Note: Take caution when approaching hillbillies and ghettobillies. Both breeds take pride in who they are and feel the world owes them for all of their problems. While hillbillies prefer shotguns to the ghettobillies' broader choice of ghettoblasters, both will make use of their weapons at the slightest offense.
